“What If” – On the things that hide under my pillow

What if I chose the path less traveled? Would it have made all the difference? The more I think now, the more confused I am. It upsets me every time I fill out one of those ‘One thing that you wish you had done differently’ questions. This was the ‘easier’ choice in many ways – the one that came without complications, the one that wouldn’t require the constant fight to be the best just because I wouldn’t settle for anything less and the one that would not mean focused passion. It would however, be the ‘stable’ one. I wonder if I have made a mistake. I thought that not feeling things intensely would be easier, but now it makes me feel a little false. I miss knowing that I can change everything oh so easily. I miss my alternate world in writing. Everything here is so concrete. And sometimes, everything is so devastatingly ‘right’. The scariest part is that this new place seems to be assessing me rather accurately. Better than I seem to be evaluating it.